On Tattoos and Two-Step

On a whim, Caroline and I decided to take a trip to Austin during our school break in September. It was seriously spectacular. I've been really wanting to write about a few of the best moments so that the memories stay vivid. And I've finally found the time! So sit back, relax, and get ready to book a flight to Austin by the time you finish reading this. 

Death of a Cockroach: 

We arrive at our first Airbnb on Wednesday night. It was the kind of place that makes you laugh nervously and say, "Well this is fun." Like, when you both know a place sucks, but you don't want to be the one to actually say it out loud. Also, it was kind of in the middle of nowhere, but we're a good time and we're not about to let that stop us. So we throw our bags down, go on Yelp, find a bar within walking distance, and head out. 

If I had to use only one phrase to describe this night, I would use the phrase, "Twilight Zone" because, what the actual fuck. We walked through a neighborhood for like a mile and didn't see a single car OR another living person. I think of the phrase, lights are on but nobody's home... except it was more like, no lights are on, nobody's home, and holy shit are we the last people alive on this fucking planet? We also saw a doll head inexplicably nailed to a post in front of a church parking lot, but that's not even the weirdest part of the night. 

We finally make it to this tiny strip of hipster-ish bars. One of which was blaring club music on a Wednesday, one which had free skee-ball all night, and the other which was kind of like a 70's dive bar with a 60-year-old couple sucking face at the bar. You can probably guess which one we went with. 

FREE SKEE-BALL! You truly never know how much you love skee-ball until it's free. We got seriously good... well, no, that's not true, but we felt like we were getting better, and that's really all that counts, right? Afterwards, we were able to wind down with the bartender, watching a weird-as-hell snake movie that had an amazing combination of atrocious acting and horrific CGI. Perfect. 

We finally decided to end the night with some drunk snacking at a food truck across the street. But those moments were too incredibly scary and sketchy to even write about, so I won't. 

We walk home, stuffing our drunk faces with BBQ ribs, back through The Twilight Zone, and arrived at our Airbnb ready for a nice, relaxing sleep. Instead, we happened upon a brutal murder scene. 

A dead cockroach lay in the bathroom, surrounded by feasting ants. It was a cult-like encounter that chilled us to our bones. The whole ordeal began with a lot of whispered screams (so as not to wake our Airbnb host, though in hindsight, he probably deserved it), uttering the phrase, "Oh my God" over and over again, and whole-body shutters. It ended with booking a different Airbnb for the next night, and barely being able to sleep with the fear that we would be the ants' next victims. 

Voodoo Tattoos: 

We woke up in a panic, ready to make our escape., which involved a lot of shoving our clothes in our bags and murmuring the phrases, "Did you just hear something?" and "What the fuck was that?" Thankfully, our getaway car (Lyft) arrived, and we were able to avoid the blood-thirsty killer ants and survive to see another day. 

It was over coffee and Voodoo Doughnuts where we suddenly decided that the best way to wind-down after the previous night was to permanently alter our bodies. 

I've always wanted a tattoo, ever since I was 18. My hold-up was that I really didn't want to rush it and get something I would later regret. But this actually turned into me being 27 and tattoo-less because I just never went for it. 

Since I had almost died the previous night, I was feeling more invincible than normal (and I feel pretty invincible most of the time, which is why I'm so embarrassing). But there must have been an extra shot of YOLO in my coffee, because I was ready to be spontaneous, ready to go topless and let a man stick a needle full of ink into my body. So that's what we did. 

Another quick Yelp search led us to All Saints Tattoo in Austin, and within the hour I was topless, hands covering my boobs so that all the wholesome people going for a stroll down 6th Street didn't get the full show, and I was getting my very first tattoo. 

Not to brag, but it didn't hurt at all! Alright, fine, I'm definitely bragging. Years of having an auto-immune disease and needing to get blood drawn every few months has made me tough, I guess. The tattoo artist told me it would feel like scratching a sunburn, which was mostly accurate, except that I've had much worse sunburns (fucking pale-ass skin problems). Halfway through, he told me that this spot is one of the most painful spots to get a tattoo, but it still didn't hurt (cause I'm tough as shit). The worst was the end, when it just started to get a little annoying. And since it's such a small and simple tattoo, it was over super quick, and before I knew it I was drinking a beer for lunch. 

Let me just say this about my tattoo: I LOVE it. I love it more than I thought I would. Sometimes I just stare lovingly at it in the mirror, with my face looking like the heart-eyes emoji. I love that I got it on a semi-whim (I already knew I wanted a triangle tattoo in that spot, but I had no idea when I was going to get it). I love that it's attached to the memory of being in Austin with my amazing friend, Caroline, who also got a triangle tattoo on her neck (facing down, and looking amazing). Honestly, the whole experience was cool, fun, amazing, wonderful, funny, and a thousand other things. 

Dancing with Old Men:

This was the best night of my life. No, I really mean it. This was. the best. night. of my life. It was a magical honky-tonk experience. 

Maybe we were just super hyped up on our first ever tattoos, or having a guy named Boggs drive us around in the bed of his pick-up truck while his dog sat shot gun, but we were seriously swooning this whole entire night. 

There's this place in Austin called The White Horse, which was recommended to us by multiple people, and it's an oasis in an already heavenly city. If you're ever in Austin, go to The White Horse. You'll never want to go anywhere else. 

Caroline described it best, "It's like we've gone back in time." And it really was. There wasn't really an indication that it was the year 2017 anywhere in the bar. There was a live band playing, men in cowboy boots and cowboy hats, a full-on dance floor, and a Lone Star beer and whiskey shot deal for $5. 

If you had told me that on this trip, I would be secretly wishing, hoping, and longing for old men to ask me to dance next, I would have laughed in your face. 

But that's exactly what happened. 

We began the night by timidly standing on the outskirts of the dance floor, watching couples dance the two-step to country music, spinning around, laughing, having the time of their lives. Basically we were just in awe, and didn't really know what to expect. We were typical New York tourists, just staring at these very much not-New-York creatures. 

And then, we were asked to dance.  

The first man who asked me to dance was probably in his 60s or 70s, and let me tell you, he was quite the dancer. He held me, and I didn't have to do anything else. This is the cheesiest thing I've ever written, but it honestly felt like I was flying. He was such a good lead, that I didn't even have to think about what would happen next, it would just happen. I would spin around, twirl around, wherever he directed me to go, I went. It's like my body just knew what to do. I could not keep the smile off my face. 

When the music ended, he said thank you and was on his way. It was the least creepy thing that has ever happened, a completely respectful and platonic experience. It was absolutely nothing like what I normally experience when a guy wants to dance with me at a bar. I met back up with Caroline, who had a grin as wide as mine. And we promptly went to get a Lone Star and a shot of whiskey. 

We were asked to dance over and over again for the rest of the night, and we eagerly accepted each invitation. In fact, the few dances where we weren't asked, we experienced incredible heartbreak. We began to try and make ourselves look as sad and as vulnerable as possible, hoping and praying that another middle-aged cowboy would choose us for the next dance. One usually did. And if it didn't happen that round, we always had each other to dance with. 

We tried Rainy Street the next night, but nothing truly compared to The White Horse, so we ended up right back there again. This night we met some James Dean impersonators, and Caroline drank her body weight in whiskey. We also discovered Gal Holiday and the Honky Tonk Revue, which you should probably go listen to right now. 

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This trip to Austin was such an unforgettable experience. There are other moments that I haven't written about, but I think I'll keep some stuff for just Caroline and I. 

I didn't really write about the food, but I promise you, it was phenomenal. We had Tex-Mex, doughnuts, tacos, and obviously BBQ. I came home 100 pounds heavier and I wasn't even mad about it. 

Overall, the city is incredible. There is so much to do and see, and we didn't even get to everything on our list (round two needs to happen). If you don't believe how much we loved this city, please know that we were on real estate websites looking up the prices of apartments almost every day. 

If you're ever on the fence about visiting Austin, go. Go to The White Horse, eat BBQ, get a tattoo, drink whiskey, do it all. You won't regret it.