Remarkable Women

In honor of International Women's Day, I thought I'd do a post to celebrate some of the most important women in my life. This list is not exhaustive, but it is special. Thank you to the women below, and to the many other women in my life, who have all shown me what it means to be remarkable. 

My Mother

Of course, Momma comes first! And not just because she's my mother, but because she's my best friend (cheesy- I know). She has remained a constant source of love, support, and honesty throughout every hurdle and triumph. I am so fortunate to have been given a mother who is so level-headed, loving, and accepting. I don't deserve her.

During my hostile teenage years, this woman would leave three-page-long love notes to me on my pillow, even when I was being utterly unlovable. Regrettably, I wasn't capable of appreciating these letters at the time. Instead, I would take these letters and crumple them up and throw them to the ground in true, volatile teenage fashion, while a steady stream of profanity would pour through my lips, as if this was solidifying my defiance.

But now- I would give anything to go back and yell at teenage Kelly and tell her to cherish those letters! How lucky I was to have a mother who loved me through my darkest moments, who even loves the parts of me she cannot understand. Her favorite question to ask me is, "Is NOTHING sacred, Kelly?," because our most prominent difference is that I am an open book (admittedly to a fault sometimes) and she is not. She will tell me when I talk to much, when I'm being irrational, when I've made a mistake and need to fix it. Her candid advice is one of the things in my life that grounds me the most. Her unwavering love and support is what keeps me moving forward, even when life is impossibly arduous. But the best thing about her, is that those lengthy professions of love have never ceased. I am strong, educated, smart, and capable because of her, and I will be forever indebted her relentless love.

Aunt Susie

Incredibly, I was given the gift of a second mother. My mother's sister, who has been there for me, taken care of me, who was cool when my mother was not, who gave me things my mother wouldn't buy me, and has loved me like a daughter for my entire existence.

Anyone who knows my Aunt Susie knows that she has to be one of the most generous people on the planet. Giving is her MO. She spoils me when I don't deserve it and will drop everything to be there for me, even if that means having to drive in the city to pick me up when I'm a crying mess (she HATES driving in the city), or rearranging her whole house so that I can move in. She does these things without a second thought or judgment.

And while my mother is special because she will tell me the truth when I am being irrational, my aunt is equally as amazing because she understands my irrational moments. She has never judged any of my crazy thoughts or mistakes. She just listens, and shrugs her shoulders, and makes me realize how little those things really matter in the grand scheme of life. I am overwhelmingly blessed to be her niece, and I would definitely be crazier without her.

Britt

I didn't leave college with a lot of friends, mostly because I never truly felt like I fit in at

Cortland. I constantly felt like I had to put on a mask or be someone else in order to survive parties and events. I know that sounds conceited and that it seems like a slight, but it's not. This internal struggle was actually embarrassing for me, because I felt like it was my fault. I wanted more than anything to fit in, but I just never did. I felt like an alien, honestly.

There are so many times where I look back with regret and wish that I had transferred my sophomore year, like I had planned. But then I think of Britt, and I know that there is a reason for everything, because if I had left, I would be missing out on one of the most significant friendships in my life.

Britt is my best friend. She is the one person I can be unapologetically myself around, all of the time. Our friendship is the opposite of toxic, it's nourishing. Her presence in my life has always been constant, real, and beneficial. There is no fighting, no passive aggression, no absences- she is always there. She helped me survive a gut-wrenching break-up by letting me sleep on her couch, feeding me, and letting me go on and on about it. I was, without a doubt, the most pathetic and annoying person ON THE PLANET for about two weeks, and she didn't complain once.

When I do something thats particularly embarrassing or pathetic, I know that when I tell her about it, and she will respond with a fervent "WHO CARES!?" Or, she'll one up me with an embarrassing story of her own. She is incredibly real, and I find that to be very rare. I don't know many other people that will be open about their own faults or less-than-perfect moments. It seems like many people want to put on a facade, even to their closest friends. With Britt, it's never like that. We are so similar in that way, and if it wasn't for her passionate reassurance, I would probably be up all night with post-social anxiety.

With her, I never have to wear a mask or be someone I'm not. I am loved (and laughed at) for who I am, always. And as much as Cortland wasn't right for me, she is, and that made it all worth it.

Taylor

While I was in college, I went to visit my friend Taylor in Boston, where she was going to school. At one point, we jumped on the train to go to Quincy Market. The train was relatively crowded and there weren't any available seats, so Taylor and I were standing. At the next stop, a woman with a cane slowly entered the train and anxiously started looking around for a spot to sit. No one got up.

What happens next perfectly describes who my best friend Taylor is.

Taylor looked right at a sitting, able-bodied man and said, "Um, are you going to get up?"

The man glanced up, stuttered something, and then bashfully got up. The woman gratefully sat and thanked Taylor instead of the man who got up.

She might not remember this moment, but I do. What she did proved that she is a woman of courage and conviction. In that moment, I wanted to be like her more than anything else. I wanted to be the kind of person that would have the courage to confront a stranger about giving up their seat to a woman with a disability. Taylor inspires me to be the kind of woman who stands up for injustices, no matter how small. I am, by no means, as brave as Taylor is. However, when I am now confronted with similar situations, I ask myself what Taylor would do, and because of her, I am a little bit braver every day.

Taylor would talk to anyone, anywhere. In Taylor's eyes, no one is undeserving of her time or attention, whether you're the bus driver or her friend (and knowing Taylor, you're probably both). She was our prom queen in high school, and there was never a more deserving girl in the world. My classmates did not vote for her because they were intimidated, or because she was popular in an unattainable, celebrity-like way. It was nothing like a teen movie. Taylor was prom queen because she made a connection with everyone in our grade. She was prom queen because when she listens to you, you are heard and you are respected, regardless of who you are or where you come from. That crown was made for her.

And on top of everything, this girl is a GREAT time. She used to pull me by the hand and get me from the back of the crowd to front row at a concert, so 16-year-old us would have the band members' sweat dripping on our faces. She will forever be the person I snuck into SPAC with, the person I spent hours tailgating with, the person who camped out with me to see Dave 3 nights in a row with, and the person I will continue to have memorable experiences with. Every moment with her is an adventure.

Time spent with Taylor will either give you the motivation to be a better person, or give you a great fucking story to tell.

Grandma

I recently experienced monumental heartbreak. My life was just not working out the way I had expected, and for about two weeks, I was a mess. One day in particular, I had just gotten home from work and I suddenly felt this strange urge to see my grandmother. I just wanted to see her, and talk to her, and tell her everything. I felt odd about it at first, because as much as I love my grandmother, I had never felt this urgent about seeing her. I called my mother and told her exactly how I was feeling, and she said, "Well, that's because Grandma has this special way of making you feel special and loved."

And, my mother was right. My grandma's love is so beautiful and unconditional. The way she makes you feel when you're around her is ineffable. It makes perfect sense that when I'm dealing with emotional despair, I crave her attention, that when I'm feeling so, just... not enough, I need her more than ever. Because she always has, and always will, make me feel loved and significant. I will talk and she will listen like I'm the only person in the world.

I don't think I've ever heard my grandmother say a mean word about anyone in her life. She looks at everything and everyone with so much love and acceptance. She looks at the world with such beauty and wonder. Everything is special, amazing, and worthy of love in her eyes. I aspire to emulate her, to get rid of hate and negativity, to look at others with understanding instead of judgement. It's certainly not easy, but if I can come from someone who can do it so perfectly, I have no excuse not to try.

Gram

There is no one in the world quite like my Gram. She is incredibly generous, recites the Gettysburg address like it's her job, and loves her grandchildren fiercely.

She is always giving, always praising, always loving. Her passion for her family is unrelenting. My gram wouldn't think twice about giving you whatever it is that you need. Without question, her generosity will exceed all expectation and all logic.

One of the things I love about her the most though, is her mind. She is incredibly intelligent. I think she knows more about grammar than anyone on the planet (and is probably cringing at my many missteps in grammar on this blog). She knows and understands so much about the world. Her intelligence is not only vast, but it's deep.

Because of her, I have a deep desire for knowledge within me. She has shown me what a thirst for knowledge and understanding can afford you in this world. She has shown me what it means to be a reader, a writer, and a learner. Most importantly, she has shown me what it means to be an intelligent and educated woman.

I have learned to love like my mother, give like my aunt, let go of things like Britt, care like Taylor, understand like my grandmother, and learn like my gram. 

What have all the women in your life taught you?