On Moments

Life is is a series of moments and the in-between. 

Moments are things that happen to you that are big. Moments hurt like hell, moments change the course of our lives, moments make us feel on top of the world. Moments last minutes, hours, or days. We make decisions that alter our lives during these big moments while we're soaring above the clouds or lost in a world of pain. 

Let's talk about those really fucking shitty moments.

Some moments really, really fucking hurt, some moments make you feel raw, like you're split in two and suddenly you can see every part of your soul, like you're performing surgery on your own body and you can see all of your insides, all of the complicated and moving parts. You see your soul, in all the places where your organs aren't, tattooed with moments from your life, forever marked. Your soul, a complicated web of moments, experiences, and traits that come together to make up... you. 

Then you just have the in-between, days flying by at work or riding the subway home. Where nothing happens. Where you could have chosen the bus over the subway and nothing in your life would have changed. 

Regret can infect the brain of those in the in-between. It starts off small, a tiny drop of thought, then it expands and infiltrates every facet of your veins until your entire body is coursing with the could have been, should have been.

But, is there any such thing as the right decision, really? Or are there just the decisions you make and the decisions you don't? Once a decision is made, can it still be "right" or "wrong"? Or is it just, made? Is there some omnipresent force stringing us along, laughing as we regret our decisions with a naive sense of control? Are these moments going to change our lives whether we like it or not?

I guess all we really know right now, is that this is the shit that keeps us up at night.

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