All of The "Almosts" in Life

Lately, I've been thinking about all of the things that I almost did.

There are the big "almosts" in life. I almost went to a different college. I almost dropped out of Cortland before sophomore year. I almost studied abroad. I almost decided to student teach in Cortland instead of New York City. I almost took that job in Long Island. I almost took that job in Brooklyn. I almost took a different position at work. I almost signed for that apartment.

Then, there are the small "almosts" I think about. I almost went to that concert. Almost went out instead of staying in to watch Netflix. Almost wore a different dress. Almost didn't say that stupid thing at dinner. Almost didn't get that drunk. Almost bought that cute shirt. Almost took that vacation.

Sometimes, thinking about all of these "almosts" can be completely and utterly overwhelming. The wondering, the wishing, the hoping. How would my life be different? I wish that never happened. I hope I never make that mistake again.

But then, when I really think about it, once those "almosts" have passed, they stop becoming "almosts" and just become what happened. I went to Cortland. I didn't drop out. I moved to New York City. I took that job. I never went to that concert. I wore that ugly dress. I got that drunk. I said that stupid thing. I never went on that vacation.

Maybe, "almosts" don't even exist at all. Maybe, if we stopped worrying about what might have been, we can start to be completely and totally satisfied with what is.